I am an English instructor in an Eikaiwa school (English schools in Japan). However, my English sucks unbelievably. I only got a fucking E in A-level exam. While I know all 24 letters of alphabets, but as an English teacher my English is totally not enough. I still can’t figure out why I can work as an English teacher.
Today I’d like to share my experience of teaching cheating the salary. (Because my peers probability don’t know Chinese so I want to write it in English, just like what Wuby did )
1.永遠隨身帶著字典.任何時候也會有人問你一些奇怪的生字. Always bring the dictionary because students may ask any fucking weird vocabulary at anytime, anywhere. 2.當你遇上學生說了你不知道的英文該怎麼說的時候.問:這個日文該怎麼說?然後火速查字典. If you hear any word you don’t know, ask them” How do you say in Japanese?” Then check the dictionary. 3.小心陰溝裡翻船,初級的課本很可能出現一些要命的生字. Be careful, sometimes you may see some difficult words in Elementary level textbook. 4.隨身帶備小說解悶. Always have a novel for killing time. 5.如何令自己受中學生歡迎?只需要瞪大眼睛,裝出一副蠢樣就可以.還有改個奇怪的英文名.(我的英文名叫Ari 在日文中解作螞蟻) How to become popular with Junior High School students? Just open your eyes widely and make yourself look like a fuck nut.And make a weird English name(Ari means”ants” in Japanese) 6.上課時偷看漫畫的最高境界是什麼?一個老師上課時偷看漫畫. What is the acme of reading comic books in the lesson? A teacher reads comics in the lesson. 7.我的身份是「外國人」,但並非native的我,價值是「會日文的外國人」 My role in school is “foreign teacher” .But the true value of me, a non-native speaker, is “Japanese speaking foreign teacher.” 8.可以用日文去解釋的話,就不會用英文去解. I won’t explain anything in English if I can explain it in Japanese. 9.教師最重要的技術,就是比學生更快一步去查你不懂的生字. As a teacher, the most important skill is to check the dictionary before the students ask you. 10.用日文去教英文的好處,就是錯了的時候可以歸咎於日文. The benefit of using Japanese to teach English is I can blame my sucking Japanese if I made a mistake. 11.你必須要很有想像力才可以聽得懂他們的意思.日本人的英語創意是遠超你想像. You must be imaginative enough to understand what the Japanese speaking. The Japanese’s creativity of using English are much beyond you can imagine.
